


Lost Until You Found Me - Humility

by Lethallan97



Series: Lost Until You Found Me (Part 1) [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abduction, Abelas - Freeform, Angry Sex, Angst, Athim - Freeform, Blackmail, Death, Eluvians, Embarrassed Solas, Embarrassment, F/M, Feelings, Feels, Fen'Harel Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Idiot Fenris, Idiot Solas, Jealous Fenris (Dragon Age), Jealousy, Kidnapping, M/M, Misunderstandings, Original Character(s), Papa Solas, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Smut, Solas is Fen'Harel, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11832651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethallan97/pseuds/Lethallan97
Summary: After they find and recover the mysterious woman, Athim, Fenris finds Solas is becoming more distanced from him. She is obviously someone he loves from his past, and Fenris is pissed at being his 'bit on the side', pushed away when she's around. Who is she really, and why does Solas refuse to acknowledge him when he's with her?...Full of jealousy, misunderstandings, smut and feelings!Note: It would be better if you read the full series, as this is a progression of a series of events and has a bit of plot line continuation from the others parts.-------------------------------------------Overall Series Summary:With Hawke lost in the fade, a lost Fenris joins Fen'Harel in the hopes that if the veil is torn down he can search for her.Solas wanted Fenris for his lyrium brands, hoping that their power can be enhanced to the extent that they could replace the lost foci to tear down the veil, but the two soon become close. Both are broken men, suffering the loss of a love - Hawke and his beloved vhenan - they find solace in one another in their loneliness and grief.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My fabulous beta](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+fabulous+beta), [sharksgrin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharksgrin/gifts).



> Some of the music I listened to when writing the last two parts of the series, Fragile and Humility:
> 
> Cosmos & Creature - Young  
> Wild - Silver and Gold  
> Trella - Crash  
> Aurora - Runaway  
> Chelsea Cuttler - Your Shirt (major song for inspiring fragile, this is not my usual music to listen to :P)  
> Ruelle - Find You  
> Halsey - Sorry

“What… is this?” The scout, a lithe man with a think head of dark hair and a crooked nose, looked up to the tall ceiling with narrowed, suspicious eyes. Solas frowned warily and let his gaze wander over the carved walls. Depictions of wolves glared back it him, all slavering jaws and wicked teeth, and men and women bowing before a hooded man as lines were drawn from their faces. This seemed to be one of his own temples, a place for his followers and those he had freed, but he had never set eyes upon the place before.

The sound of rushing water echoed silently around them, coming from far below the ground and the smooth, worn stone was warm to the touch as if the place were alive. Remnants of magic echoed here, running thick through the walls like veins and carrying with it a dark pulse. The magic felt strong and ancient, like it lingered, clinging to existence through sheer will. It felt… desperate.

Solas placed his fingertips gentle to the stone, shivering at the feeling. There was ancient lyrium imbued within the walls, almost imperceptible unless you looked close enough. Thin tendrils spread over the surface of the stone, as thin as spider’s webs that glistened faintly in the light spilling from the tall crystal ceiling high above them. The lyrium felt odd, still very much alive as it spread magic through the place, but Solas could not help but sense the… desperation running through the place.

“This feels wrong, mage.” Fenris rumbled from behind him, his body shifting restlessly. Solas turned to where the other man followed, and frowned as the lyrium in his flesh pulsed weakly in agitation at the ambient magic in the air.

“If this place effects you—“ Solas began, taking a step closer before being cut off by a shake of Fenris’ head.

“It does. It is not… pain, exactly. It is like no magic I have ever encountered before.” Solas nodded slowly, and turned from him. He did not want Fenris here if this magic caused him pain, or worse.

“No.” Solas raised an eyebrow as Fenris answered his thoughts as he scowled, eyes narrowing.

“You will not pack me away like a delicate doll, again.” Solas frowned, taking another step towards him and stopped as something crunched beneath his feet. He looked down and winced, a pile of bones and dust all that remained of one of his people beneath his feet.

“Should they cause you pain…” Fenris scowled and chuckled bitterly, gesturing to the pulsing brands.

“They always do.” Solas shocked his head, expression softening as Fenris rolled his eyes and one of the scouts behind Fenris whispered something to his friend which caused Fenris’ face to colour and glared them into silence.

“I will be sure to inform you.” Solas nodded, for that was all he was likely to get out of the stubborn elf. He turned, gesturing to one hallway off to the side of the hall in which they stood. The two whispering scouts scurried off down the way he pointed, having the decency to at least look a little ashamed. He gestured for Fenris to follow him, before cautiously making his way through the hall to a small, inconspicuous hallway on the far side.

They had entered through an eluvian, a long dormant pathway through the crossroads that Abelas had gleamed the location of through whispers and rumour. This was not their first attempt, far from it. For this matter, he would rather take rumours and hearsay, than nothing at all.

This temple had no doors, and the only windows were made from crystal in varying colours. An ancient method of magical binding, that was now lost, made the glass virtually unbreakable. The eluvian had been the only method in or out. Upon creating the veil, this place would have been cut off. The eluvian would have locked, become dormant and disconnected from the crossroads. His people inside would have starved, died trapped and helpless, because of what he had done. He can only imagine their last moments.

No wonder the magic here was tainted, though a small sliver of hope remained, a light swell cresting through waves of sorrow.

They passed through corridors and small rooms, empty food stores and bed chambers mostly, each one littered with the bones of his people. Once proud and strong, now reduced to ash and bone beneath his feet.

His chest felt heavy as the magic caressed his skin, the last remnants of their existence. Solas swallowed hard, but kept his face tightly schooled. His people now could not see him falter, but his ever perceptive lyrium warrior seemed to know his every expression. He watched from the corner of his eye as the other elf frowned, his expression one of hidden concern.

“The bones…” Fenris’ brow furrowed as he kneeled in the middle of an empty pantry room, fingers running lightly over one small delicate bone he had plucked from the floor. A child’s, Solas realised. Fenris pointed to another set of remains, half propped and crumbling in the corner.

“Those bones are crumbling to dust. These are mostly intact.” Solas frowned, brow furrowing in confusion before his eyes widened in understanding. They stood, moving swiftly from room to room and found what they had expected. He regarded the bones of a child resting beside the crumbling bones of an adult, a kitchen knife lying close by.

“They sacrificed themselves first, to save the food for the children… they died later.” Solas lips parted, swallowing before he let out a shaky breath. This was his fault.

Fenris scowled, his hand coming to grasp his forearm for just a moment before dropping down to his side once again.

They continued solemnly through the corridors, every room like the last. The further they advanced into the place, the greater the magic became. The uneasy feeling grew heavier, weighing unpleasantly on their chests. The lyrium seemed to become stronger, the closer the got to its epicentre. The corpses slowly became soldiers, armoured skeletons with arms still in hand but there seemed to be no sign of confrontation. Each body lay propped against the walls, where the magic pulsed like syrup through the stone. It shone lightly now, now a shimmering web of red.

Solas touched the lyrium lightly again, but sensed no taint within it. It was not the red lyrium they knew before.

Fenris growled, a nervous shaky sound that erupted from his throat as he unsheathed his sword. The rooms off from the hall they walked through no longer held skeletons, but flesh. The first were rotted almost completely, small stringy strips of rancid flesh clinging to the bones and remnants of lavish clothing, blood stains still evident around them. Fenris turned to him, eyes wary.

“How did they survive? They should all have died millennia ago…” Solas approached the corpse, examining the cloth covered stone slab on which it lay. The slab was ornately carved, the carvings smoothed with age. He ran his fingers of the patterns and frowned.

“The people could enter Uthenera, the long sleep. We could sleep for millenia, untouched by age or hunger, fuelled and preserved by magic. They should not have been able to—“ Solas stopped, eyes widening minutely. Fenris scowled as he watched the mage rush to the wall, palm pressed firmly against it as he hissed, other palm running over his face.

“I should have known.” Fenris frowned, watching the mage as he paced from room to room, finding each room much the same as the last, the corpses become fresher each time. Fenris was growing agitated, finally he grabbed the mage abruptly by the arm and stopped him.

“Spit it out, mage!” Solas stopped, letting out a breath.

“When I erected the veil, the magic that fuelled my people left. Cities that were tied intrinsically to the fade crumbled, my people’s immortality faded. Uthenera required magic to preserve the body, magic that no longer existed in enough abundance.The lyrium within these walls provided enough, but only for a brief time.” He sneered, “The children and lower classes were left awake, to starve. The adults sacrificed themselves to leave their food for their children, and their willing sacrifice fuelled the lyrium. The upper classes took advantage of the sacrifice, their lives allowed their bodies to be preserved for longer.” Fenris frowned in confusion as Solas snarled.

“It is a form of blood magic, but not as you know it. On their deaths, their power and blood was absorbed and fuelled the lyrium. They did it willing. When they ran out… they started to sacrifice each other to preserve a few. The lyrium contains the essence of the sacrifices.” Fenris clenched his eyes shut and winced.

“That is why it feels like that?” He asked, and Solas nodded, gently brushing the back of Fenris’ hand with his fingertips. Fenris leaned in for a moment, eyes shut, and Solas breathed It in with downcast eyes. It was not often the stubborn warrior accepted any comfort.The remains of doomed children would do that, even to his hard shell.

“Fen’harel! Sir!” A yell sounded from down the hall, the way they had been heading. The scout from earlier appeared, chest heaving as he slid to a halt just outside the door. They jerked apart, Fenris’ unsheathing his sword at the scouts urgency and the scout shock his head wildly.

“You better come see this, sir!” The scout turned and fled, and they followed quickly behind. They followed the man through the winding hallways, until they came to a doorway where he stepped aside and pointed.

Upon a slab, like the one they had seen before, lay a woman. Her skin was placid, thin and sickly looking. A smattering of freckles lay across her nose and checks, and her body looked thin and frail. A mess of dark copper hair splayed against the pillow below her, a ornate blanket that looked hand made covered her bared body. She was surrounded by… trinkets. Jewellery, some pieces made of gold and some of simple carved wood, lay scattered around her… even children’s toys lay, nestled into the crooks of her arms that lay at her sides. It was obvious she was well loved.

Fenris frowned, confusion on his face as he looked at him with a question on his lips. It did not get past his lips however, syllables dying as he looked at his face.

Solas stared, mouth open in relief as tears ran freely down his face. He ran, arms grasping the woman’s shoulders as he pulled her body to him and laughed, cradling her to his chest as he pressed one palm to her forehead. He cradled her a moment, shocked silence in the room as he kissed her cheeks and forehead, his fingers carding through her hair affectionately as her eyes fluttered open slowly. Her eyes were misted, cloudy and unfocused for a long moment before she stared, a smile breaking onto her face as she kissed him back, throwing her arms around him as they embraced and sobbed.

“I thought you were dead!” She cried, clutching onto his neck. He chuckled sadly and clutched her closer. 

“Athim.” He breathed. He had so much he wished to say to her, but none of it would come. He just knew he never wanted to let her go again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks. Fenris scowled into his glass, glaring hatefully at the drop of red that had fallen to stain his tunic earlier. It had been three weeks, since they had entered that hateful place and brought that woman back with them. It had been the same amount of time, since Fenris had seen Solas.

Not that he hadn’t seen him, but what he had seen of the man wasn’t worthy of count. He had seen the man collecting food from the mess hall and rushing off again, or stalking through the halls without giving Fenris a second glance. He had not spoken to him, in the fade or the waking world, but then again, he wasn’t even sure the mage had been sleeping properly.

Whispers spread throughout the keep, rumours that the Dread Wolf’s ancient lover had resurfaced. Rumour that she was ill, the magic that had sustained her weak and sufficient to keep her alive, but only just. Rumour that the Dread Wolf clambered like a love-sick puppy to her bedside every waking moment, never leaving her side as she recovered.

Fenris took a long swig from the depleted wine glass. He certainly wasn’t wallowing, sitting at this desk in the dark corner of the mess hall. The sun had long ago set, the hall almost empty and illuminated by the faint flickering of dying candles. He had blatantly ignored all the whispers as he walked through the halls the past weeks, the terribly concealed looks as he walked past. Whispers that the dread wolf’s lyrium etched, mortal _mistress_ had been cast aside. Some looked at him with pity, others with disdain.

“Spending your time wisely, I see.” Fenris raised his head at the voice, breaking from his poisonous train of thought, and glared. Abelas loomed over him, hands clasped behind his back as he regarded him.

“What is it to you, how I spend my time?” Abelas shrugged, clasping the back to the chair opposite him and pulled it out before sliding into it. He grasped the decanter of wine and a cup, pouring the dark liquid into both their cups.

“Nothing. Our activities are at a near standstill while our lady recovers, however. I find myself with some… time.” Abelas raised the glass to his lips, regarding Fenris solemnly as he pushed the refilled glass towards him.

“So you impose your presence on me?” Abelas frowned as he watched him down a large quantity of the liquid quickly.

“Yes. You do not seem to be… enjoying the time off.” Fenris snorted, the sound coming out more defensive than he intended it to be.

“You are troubled. By Athim?” Fenris scowled, eyes narrowing at the man. He waved his hand dismissively as he drank.

“Why would I be troubled by her?” Abelas frowned then, leaning forward to rest his arms upon the table. He tilted his head curiously at him.

“Her presence has obviously changed your… dynamic. With him.” Fenris sneered, teeth clenched around the bitter taste in his mouth that had nothing to do with the cheap wine.

“There is no _dynamic_ to change.” Abelas cocked an eyebrow, one side of his mouth twitching upward.

“That is not what I saw. That is not what Kariel saw.” Fenris eyes jerked up and he snarled.

“Ah yes, Kariel. Shouldn’t you have better things to _do_ with her, in your free time, Sentinel? You have not exactly been discreet with her. Not as much as you think you have been.” Fenris chuckled darkly as the sentinel blinked, a slight colour raising to his cheeks as he shifted uncomfortably. The woman brought an uncharacteristic awkwardness out in the usually stoic man.

“She was… also concerned. She considers you a friend, Fenris.” Fenris let out a bitter laugh. Of course, the woman would put him up to this. They had become somewhat closer since their return from rescuing Solas months back, she was kind to him and a capable warrior. The sentinel was like putty in the woman’s hands ever since they had first started their _tryst._ Abelas shook his head at him, sighing.

“As do I.” Fenris’ scowl melted in a small frown as they sat in silence for a moment, before Fenris sighed in defeat, rubbing agitatedly at his forehead.

“Thank you for your…. concern. It is not need however.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the dense wood making his back ache. He wished nothing more than to avoid this topic of conversation. “It was… spontaneous. Nothing permanent.”  The sentinel raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.

“Of course.” He snarked, sarcasm dripping from every word. Fenris scowled again, but he couldn’t summon any heat behind it. His earlier… agitation, dripping away, leaving him oddly empty.

“Athim has recovered well, regained her strength… she should be able to leave the infirmary soon, she will be given her own private room then. I suggest you speak to her.” He paused, “He would like it, I think, if you spent some time with her.” Fenris frowned in confusion. Why he would want his new lover to meet him, Fenris could not comprehend. Perhaps he thought if Fenris were to like her, it would make getting rid of him easier. He had to admit, he was curious.

“Perhaps.” He took another deep drink as they sat in silence for a moment, Fenris staring contemplatively into the flickering candle between them, as they lapsed into a comfortable silence and drank long into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Fenris hesitated. He didn’t know why he hesitated, she was just one woman.

He stared at the wood grain of the infirmary door in front of him, fingers twitching at his side in agitation. He had paid a serving boy to fetch him when he saw Solas leave, he was unsure why, but he wanted to meet her alone. He swallowed hard, before raising his fist to knock the door briefly. He waited for a time, before a soft voice called to him to enter.

This make shift infirmary was simple, but comfortable. An old food store, long and thin with bare walls and floor. The room had no windows, and had torches blazing in sconces along the walls. A ball of mage light hovered above a large double bed, it’s form shifting and pulsing to light the area further. There were other beds lining the walls beside her, but they were empty. The woman lay, propped up with large plush pillows, a book clasped between her hands. Her once sallow skin was flushed, rosy cheeks bringing out the smattering of freckles. She was clothed in a simple white night gown, tucked tightly under the thick bed covers. She looked up as he entered, her head tilting to the side as she smiled at him in greeting.

“Andaran atish’an. Ma melava halani, Falon?” She sat forward slowly, setting the book aside, eyebrows raised at him in question. His advance faltered at her words, an awkward panic slowly slithering through him. She was ancient, what if she did not speak the common tongue?

He cleared his throat awkwardly, moving to stand at the bottom of the large bed. His hands clasped tightly behind his back, fingers fidgeting.

“My apologies, but I do not--” Her face bloomed, alight with understanding, and she laughed, cutting him off with a wave of her hand.

“Oh! Ir Abelas, I am sorry for assuming. I remembered your face, you helped me didn’t you?… I did not think a lyrium warrior would be of this time! I did not think the order survived, though your markings appear… different.” She smiled brightly at him, patting the sheets in front of her.

“Please, sit! May I know your name?” He looked from her to the bed, moving to gingerly perch upon the edge of the bed, his side pressed tightly to the board at the end of it.

“My name is… Fenris. You know something of my markings?” He frowned in confusion. Her smiled never faltered, though her eyes became sad for a moment and she nodded, smile causing her cheeks to dimple. She pushed a stray strand of bright red hair from her face. It had curled somewhat since he had last seen her, and looked healthy and vibrant now where it had looked dull and lifeless before. She was recovering well.

“Lyrium warriors. They are… were… the most distinguished of warriors. Only the great men, generals and war heroes, were sent there. It was not offered often, and it was accepted even less. Not everyone survived the process. They were… guardians, of sorts. Sworn to protect the people and our history.” Fenris’ brow furrowed and clenched his teeth. Solas had not bothered to mention this to him.

“I am no great man. I was a slave. These markings were forced upon me, by a _mage_. I crushed his heart.” He spat the words, hatred seeping into them more than he had intended. He did not come here to give the woman this impression of him, but thoughts of his former master still stirred an old anger in him. Stirred up an old pain. She seemed unafraid of his outburst however, and regarded him with sorrow in her eyes. Oddly, there was no pity as there usually was.

“It takes great courage to break chains.” Fenris regarded her in silence for a moment. He opened his mouth, unsure of how to reply but he didn’t need to. The door swung open, banging lightly against the wall.

“I brought you some of the sweet pastries you said you li—” He stopped, seeing Fenris head swivel round to regard him. Fenris’ cheeks heating slightly as he realised he’d been caught.

“Fenris… I did not expect you here. Athim…” She smiled brightly again, eyes latching onto the food he carried, carefully balanced on both his arms. She thrust out both her hands in their direction and cooed in delight like a child at her name day celebrations. Solas smiled warmly, the smile meeting his eyes. He looked happier than Fenris had ever seen him before. The knowledge that he should be happy for the man batted with the bitter feeling in his gut.

“Fenris is a friend of yours, yes? He should eat with us!” Athim grasped a flaky, buttery pastry from one of the plates as he brought it forward. He laughed as she ate with vigour, face covered in a thin layer of butter. He sat on the edge of the bed, on the opposite side to Fenris, and leaned forward to tuck a stray hair behind her ear affectionately. Fenris averted his eyes at the display.

“Fenris is my… agent. A trusted ally. With my foci destroyed, I can use the lyrium as a substitute.” He turned to Fenris, “You may of course stay and eat—” Fenris clenched his jaw and stood abruptly.

“I think not.” Fenris snapped. He should hold his tongue, leave before he said something stupid, but his chest ached and there was a twisting creature squirming in his gut, all anger and hurt and it didn’t want to stop. He wanted to hate her, hate him, but he was having… difficulty.

“An _agent_ doesn’t eat with his betters.” He sneered as Solas winced, almost imperceptibly, before swiftly moving to the door. He stopped, hand on the doorknob.

“It was… nice to meet you. Athim.” As much as he wanted it to be a lie, it wasn't.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay had a busy week, back at it now :D More sexy times ahead

He raised his hand to the door, hand clenched into a tight fist. His knuckles whitened with tension, hovering over the dense wood as he hesitated. He flexed his clenched fingers in agitation, gritting his teeth to the point of pain.

 _You’re an idiot,_ Fenris thought. He had to be, to keep coming back like this. To pine at the man’s door like a puppy, when it was perfectly clear that he was of no more interest to the man. He had come here tonight, and the two nights previous, under some misguided notion in his own head that he was going to stop this. End it cleanly and clearly, set them both straight so that this… _awkwardness_ , could end. Yet each time he came here, he hesitated. He didn’t know why, didn’t really want to examine the matter closely, but each time he stood on the elf’s doorstep he felt like he couldn’t face him.

The gnawing feeling in his gut hasn’t dissipated since their last meeting, but it felt different now. Embarrassed, almost. He has snapped like a wounded beast, as if it was his place to snap at him. He was not just their leader, he was meant to be their _God_. He had forgotten his place, forgotten that he was little more than a powerful asset to the man. Fenris did not want to be the man’s _mistress…_ but he found himself wanting to stay closer than what he had been, before. Solas has spoken to him like an equal, treated him like a… friend. Fenris didn’t have many of those, but his outburst in front of his… preferred company might have ended any chance of that.

“Fasta vass…” He whispered, huffing as he dropped his clenched fist to his side. He closed his eyes, running his other hand briefly over his face before he turned and retreated down the hallway in defeat. It was the dead of night, the fortress slept and was silent save for the clink of armoured guards making their rounds. His footsteps were silent as he went, soft cloth breeches and shirt making it easy to manoeuvre undetected.

He reached the end of the short corridor, and turned the corner only to be presented with a gnarled, scarred face the smirked up at him, in an expression that showed a few too many rotted teeth for Fenris’ liking. Another guard stood beside him, an older woman with plain features and mousy brown hair. Her smirk did not seem kind, either.

“Wha’s this then, hmm?” The scarred elven man tilted his head, his tongue slipping between his teeth as he leered at him. He elbowed the woman next to him who smirked silently.

“Seems the words true then, the Wolf’s discarded _bitch_ is whimpering at ‘is door.” They laughed, an ugly, cruel sound. Fenris flinched, clenching his jaw.

It was unlikely he had been seen by many this late at night, but with the gossip slithering through the keep from loose tongue to loose tongue, his aborted nightly trips seem to have been well documented. He scowled, brow furrowing in distaste at the thought. The thought that _he_ might hear made him want to squirm.

Fenris moved forward, shoving his shoulder in to the male guard’s armour clad one, to push past him, but one gauntleted hand shoved hard into the centre of his chest. He stumbled back, a low growl slipping past his lips in warning. The man laughed, as the woman moved forward to trail a finger across his clenched jaw in mock tenderness.

“Not so fast, sweet-cheeks. I’ll take the Wolf’s sloppy seconds, I ain’t fussy. I hear you’re gaggin’ for it, now.” The woman leered at him, and Fenris’ growl turned into a snarl as he shoved her hand away.  She placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed, Fenris’ back hitting the wall with a low thud as they crowded closer to him. He glared, flexing his still clenched fingers as he light his lyrium brands. He would rather not have to explain two corpses, but they has forced his hadn. The scent of lyrium filled the air as the faint blue glow grew stronger, and the two guard’s drew back slightly in apprehension.

“Enough.” A voice barked. The two guards were thrown to the side, magic humming in the air like locusts. An invisible force pulled the two up by their throats, their breaths coming in short, pained gasps as the writhed against the stone.

Fenris shoved himself away from the wall as Solas moved forward from the shadows, long pale fingers wrapping around the man’s throat. He moved his face closer, eyes cloudy with rage as he stared into the man’s eyes.

“Touch him again, and you will not live to tell any of your tales.” He glared to the side, into the wet, fear filled eyes of the woman.

“You will be dealt with. I do not tolerate your kind within my ranks.” He snarled, his fingers reluctantly prying away from the man’s throat as they were released, sliding down the wall with a clatter. They lay, gasping, in a crumpled heap at his feet. Solas turned to Fenris, his expression softening.

“Are you alright?” Fenris scowled, righting his crumpled shirt.

“I could have pulled their still beating hearts from their chests, I did not need your… help.” Solas tilted his head, one eyebrow raised as he regarded him solemnly.

Fenris paused, staring for a moment, before turning on his heel to leave. He closed his eyes a moment as his elbow was caught, the grip firm but not unbreakable should he wish to.

“We must speak.” Fenris felt panic rise in his chest, urge to flee rising, but if he did not do it now he feared he never would. He turned and nodded, schooling his face into a purely neutral expression as he followed him down the corridor once more. Once inside, Solas closed the door firmly, blocking out the sounds of the guards groaning in self-pity as they gathered themselves up again.

Fenris slowly crossed the room, standing in front of a low burning fireplace set into the far wall. He wanted distance between them, for this conversation. Solas waved a hand to the fire, and the flames danced higher as they came to life once more.

“I… did not know that you were being treated like that.” Solas crossed to his desk laden with papers, and picked up a jug of wine resting upon it. He filled a glass with the dark liquid, before raising it to his lips. He clasped the cup within two hands, fingers fiddling nervously on its stem.

“Perhaps you were right, about keeping this… hidden.” Fenris snorted, turning to look at him.

“Hardly matters now, does it?” Fenris winced at the bitterness in his voice, hoping it was only obvious to his own ears. Solas hummed, leaning back to perch upon the edge of the table.

“I suppose you are right… whatever the case may be, I should have known about the situation sooner.” Fenris laughed, a bitter sound.

“You would have had to be around, to hear rumours, Dread Wolf.” Fenris stared into the flames. “You are meant to be our leader, yet you have not been seen or given an order in weeks.” Solas sighed, taking a few steps towards him.

“I know…” He reached his side, staring into the flames with him. “She has almost fully recovered now. She has been allowed to move freely around the keep for the best part of the last week, so I will be resuming… most of my duties, now. I am sorry, that I haven’t paid you the attention you deserve.” Fenris frowned, feeling the heated weight of the man’s stare on him.

“Why did you not tell her?” Solas frowned, brow furrowing in confusion.

“I would have thought that was obvious?” Fenris swallowed, his mouth suddenly tasting bitter. It was true then. He didn’t want his ancient lover to find out about his… casual dalliance. Fenris felt the weight on him then, of sleepless nights spent pacing and filtering through his own thoughts. He felt Solas’ hand grip his forearm gently, breakable, like before. His thumb drew gentle circles through his shirt.

“Stay, just for tonight.” Fenris shook his head, but Solas stepped closer, leaning in. He gently clasped his chin, pulling his gaze to him as his lips brushed against Fenris’.

“Just to rest. We have both had… a long few weeks. Let this wait until tomorrow.” Fenris’ head told him that this was a terrible idea, that he needed to end this here and now, like he had intended to. He opened his mouth to tell him no, that they were done. A slow breath slipped from him as he licked his lips and hesitated.

 _Selfish_ _fool_ , a voice whispered inside his head as he found himself saying yes instead.


	5. Chapter 5

“Mm…” Fenris grumbled as movement jostled him. He ignored it, burrowing his head further into the warm, comforting embrace of the pillow beneath him as he clung to blissful unconsciousness. He shivered as something tickled the bared skin of his back, a light sensation trailing down his spine. He huffed, wriggling away from the tickling sensation that would not leave, and extricated his arms from beneath the pillow to roll over. He let out a comfortable sigh as the tickling sensation ceased for a few minutes, and he floated in the pleasant sensation between the waking world and the fade.

“Hmm…” Fenris wriggled again as the sensation returned, tickling against his chest and sending shivers down the length of his body. The sensation continued as Fenris began to slip back towards unconsciousness, before it disappeared entirely.

He barely registered the shuffling of bed clothes, but hummed in pleasure at the sensation of something warm and wet against his neck. He tilted his head up unconsciously, the sensation distracting him enough to make him unaware of the sensation of light cloth smalls being slipped down his hips. The sensation left his neck and slipped lower and lower still, until an intense pleasure bloomed low in his stomach and wrenched him abruptly to the waking world.

His eyes snapped open with a jolt as he gasped, eyes snapping down to analyse the threat as his heart hammered wildly in his chest. The sight he was greeted with did nothing to slow down the wild fluttering in his chest, as a pair of intense eyes bored into him and a set of lips wrapped beautifully around his hardening cock.

Fenris shivered, biting the inside of his cheek as pleasure bombarded him and he panted. One of his hands flew down to the smooth head, intent on pushing him away but he found himself unwilling to, grasping the smooth head closer.

Fenris fell back against the sheets, back arching and writhing at the sensation of glorious suction, and a pleasant hum from Solas’ throat sent him into near spasms as his mouth gaped.

Fenris’ other fist flew to his mouth, biting hard on the knuckle of his thumb to supress the whimpers in his throat, the heat building too much. His eyes caught onto Solas’ smug ones, and he froze.

He had left him for weeks, not spoken a word to him. Fenris has come here to put this to an end, yet here he was once again, in the Dread Wolf’s bed. This had to stop, for his own sake. He couldn’t let the man take advantage of him, use him when he liked then discard him, like Danarius had. Fenris was better than that, he knew that now.

Fenris pushed him away, his lips coming away with an obscenely wet sound as Fenris panted. He rolled away from the other elf, looking around to find his clothing as he stood. They lay where he had left then the night before, his leggings and tunic neatly folded and placed upon the desk.

“Da’fen?...” Solas watched him stalk to the table, rolling gracefully off the bed to stand as well. Fenris grabbed the tunic, hastily shaking it out.

“Fenris?” He could hear Solas’ approach, soft bare footsteps padding gently on the stone floor behind him. He growled as the shirt unfolded upside down, ignoring the mage’s question. He almost jumped as he felt hands gently on his hips, and the other man’s face pressing into his neck. Had Fenris not been panicking, the situation would have been quite pleasant.

“Talk to me, Da’fen. We agreed we would talk.” Fenris stopped, shirt dangling from his hands and growled, the growing heat in his gut now nothing to do with pleasure.

“Talk? Fine. We are through with this… dalliance. That is all there is to say.” Fenris moved to pull the tunic on, but found his hips pushed forward and pinned to the table, Solas’ chest pressed tight to his back to cage him in.

“I will not have you running off before we talk about this properly. I… must apologise to you. I have neglected you, not given you the attention you deserve. I have left you open to… criticism from my followers. I was selfish to let them know, we clearly did not want that.” Solas kissed his neck, lips lingering apologetically.

Fenris couldn’t help the low moan that slipped from him as his tongue laved at a sensitive spot there, nipping at the skin, as his thumbs rubbed circles into his hips. He wriggled restlessly against him, acutely aware of the other elf’s own wilted arousal pressed against his lower back.

“I… I won’t be yours to take and discard, Mage.” Solas frowned against his neck.

“That is something I will never do to you. On that, you have my word.” Solas kissed his temple gently, and Fenris hesitated. His brain told him no, he must be lying, he would never leave her for someone like him. She was one of his own after all, and Fenris was just… a nobody.

Solas’ hips shifted forward to grind against his back, fingers on his hips loosening enough for him to leave should he choose to do so. One hand slipped from his hip to caress his back, awaiting permission.

“I won’t… share, Mage.” He wouldn’t. He knew if the man said he would have them both, he would walk away. He did not share, and he would not be any man’s second choice. He missed Solas’ frown of confusion, his eyebrow rising in disbelief.

“Never.” Solas whispered, kissing him deeply when Fenris tilted his head to the side. His teeth nipped at Fenris’ lips, tongues clashing, as his hand slipped lower. Magic stirred the air again, and Fenris gasped as he felt a grease slicked finger tease his cleft. Fenris hastily pushed piled papers out of the way, throwing the still folded leggings onto the floor somewhere behind them. Fenris leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk as his heaving chest almost touched the cold wood. He felt a leg nudge at his own, parting them slightly as one finger teased him.

Fenris growled, breath coming fast as he wriggled, that slick finger teasing but never breaching him. He growled impatiently as the elf chuckled behind him, and Fenris flexed his fingers against the wood in frustration.

“Get on with it.” He had made him wait _weeks_ , there was no time for teasing. If Solas was lying to him, if he went back to her again, Fenris wasn’t sure he could forgive him. Wasn’t sure he could stop short of beating him to a pulp, but he would give the man a shadow of doubt. After all he had done for Fenris, he deserved at least that.

“Impatient, Da’Fen?” Fenris could hear the smirk in the man’s voice, and he snarled. He pushed back wriggling his hips firmly against the mage’s cock, and smiled at the hitch in the man’s breath. He opened his mouth, a witty retort lingering on his lips, but one glorious finger breached him and all that came out was a growled yelp.

He whimpered as the finger pumped into him, his own fingers clenching into fists as he leaned further forward, check pressed to the desk as he writhed. A second finger slipped in, and he hissed at the moments displeasure. Solas murmured his apologies, magic stirring the air once more to ease the way. Pain quickly morphed into a low, burning pleasure. Solas leaned forward, biting at the back of Fenris neck with a smirk.

“Enough dallying, Ma—” Fenris growled, but was cut off by a sharp knock on the door. They both froze, heads whipping in the direction of the noise. They sat in silence for a moment, nothing but their panting breaths in the air before Solas cleared his throat from above him.

“If it is anything short of a siege on this very castle, come back later. I can deal with it at the meeting later.” He yelled, barely contained annoyance in his voice at the interruption. Fenris couldn’t help but smirk, a welling feeling of hot satisfaction settling in his chest. Until a familiar voice replied and a feeling of dread settled there instead.

“It’s Athim, Babae!” Solas froze above him for a moment, before jerking upright, panic on his face when Fenris glanced around. Fenris winced as his fingers slipped from him hastily.

“Da’len! I… ah… Now is not a good time…” Fenris felt anger stir again, a tight feeling in his chest, he propped himself up on his elbows again and stared at the wood grain below him. He clenched his teeth, pain blossoming in his jaw.

“You didn’t answer my question, before. Why did you not tell her about me, _Dread Wolf_?” He whispered, the promise of a snarl in the back of his throat as he hissed his title. Solas stared at him, wincing in-case she had heard them.

“Now is not the time…” He whispered back, panic in his voice and Fenris slammed his fist into the table.

“Why?” Solas looked confused again, his brow furrowing.

“Babae? Are you alright?” Solas glanced at the door, panic again stealing over his face as she heard the bang.

“Yes! I am… fine, Da’len. Just… changing. I will be out to join you for breakfast soon.” His voice was shaky, more worried than Fenris had ever seen him and that felt like a stab to the gut.

“I. Am. Waiting.” He snarled, this time loud enough for her to hear.

“Babae, is there someone with you?” Solas winced and glared at Fenris.

“No, just… thinking aloud.” He glanced down to Fenris, who now glared at him over his shoulder, still pinned to the table.

Fenris’ face must have shown some of the hurt it caused him, because Solas’ expression softened.

“Why don’t you want her to know I am here?” Solas frowned.

“I would have thought that would be quite obvious?” Fenris shook his head, and pushed back against him, struggling to break free of his hold, but he held him firm, his hands on his arms now. Solas’ face was a mixture of confusion and disbelief.

“How can you not understand?” He whispered, glancing to the door again as he heard Athim shuffle outside, “I know you are from a less than… private background, but I thought it would be quite plain why I wouldn’t want my daughter to walk in on—” Fenris blinked at him over his shoulder, and froze. He turned his head, gaping at the man.

“Your _daughter!?”_ He whispered, anger draining from him in an instant leaving him light and drained, a strange feeling in his chest a mixture of embarrassment and something else.

Solas face froze and his eyes widened in understanding. He turned his head to the door again, as Fenris stared at him.

“Athim, I will meet you in the mess hall. I have someone I want to introduce you to.” He called and she hummed in affirmation. Solas turned to him and laughed, pulling him close.

“Who did you think she was? I thought Abelas had told you…” Solas’ hand trailed comfortingly down his side, their bodies pulled tight against each other. He pulled his chin towards him, pressing a soft kiss to Fenris’ lips once again. Fenris felt his face heat now, almost embarrassed that he had fell prey to rumours and gossip.

“I… everyone said she was your lover, from… before.” He blushed, thinking back to what Abelas had said, “I think that Abelas… thought I already knew.” Solas smiled into his neck, like a weight had been lifted from him too, leaving him elated and pleased beyond measure.

“You thought I was going to abandon you, for her.” Fenris winced, face growing hot as the man chuckled into his neck.

“Well, you hardly did anything to dissuade anyone.” Fenris grumbled, uncomfortable now the rage was gone, but his chest felt tighter with some feeling he could not identify. Solas hadn’t lied to him.

“No… I am sorry. I did neglect you. I…” He sighed, and he looked pained for a moment, “I did not want to tell her about you. I wanted to spare her that… pain. I have had time to come to terms with what happened. I watched from the fade as I slept, watched the world crumble. I woke to see the ruins of my people with my own eyes, I had time to accept that. Accept that it was my fault.” Fenris frowned at the sorrow in his eyes, and knew that wasn’t entirely true.

“Uthenera requires magic to sustain the body, a great deal of it. When I slumbered, the foci provided that magic. For Athim, that Uthenera was a form of blood magic. It was.. warped. It provided barely enough magic to keep her alive, she would have entered the fade but she was not lucid within it. She hovered in darkness, lost and confused, for thousands of years. For her, she went to sleep a few weeks ago and woke to find everyone she knew dead and her people in the gutter. When I erected the veil… her mother was still alive. I… did not want her to think I had betrayed her mother, by taking another mate.” Fenris’ face softened in understanding. The girl must have been terrified, grief stricken and near death. Of course, he didn’t leave her side for weeks. She was his _daughter._

“I understand. I know what it is… to wake lost and alone.” Solas hugged him close, cheek pressed to his temple as he breathed. Fenris had been lucky at least, to not retain memories of what came before. Less for a slave to long for, when all you remembered was pain.

“I know, ma lath. I will tell her, she does not deserve deception and neither do you. First however…” He smirk, hand trailing downward, “we have something very important to finish.”

Fenris laughed as their lips clashed, for what was not the last time today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see the sneaky little 'ma lath?' I know, maybe a bit early but Fenris doesn't know what it means and it felt like it needed to go in there somewhere... :D 
> 
> Babae - Father (I knew this from another fic but when I googled it, couldn't find it. So idk if it's actually DA elven or what, but i'm using it as father so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)  
> Ma lath - My love


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This chapter has a bit that some might find weird at the end, it's a small setup to an a potential omegaverse spin off I might do. None of it will take part until the spin off, so don't worry if you don't like omegaverse just ignore that part.  
> The spin off isn't going to be a generic smutty omegaverse fic, it'll actually have very little smut more plot as I am currently planning it. 
> 
> So this finishes off this part, with some lovely sweet fluff-sicles, and the next part will be *gasp* the conclusion to the first part of the series! Not sure if ill keep going with this series after that ( if you want more do let me know in the comments, I will write more if people want it!) 
> 
> Once it's done, Ill probably combine all the separate parts into one big 'read it all' fic on here, if any of you want to read it all in one go instead of in stunted parts!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading my series so far! :D I really appreciate it! Please do tell me what you thought of the series, I want to improve so tell me if you didn't like it, did like it, if it moved to fast etc. etc. 
> 
> TL;DR  
> Next part is the final part to the big part one Lost Until You Found Me, where it will come to a possible stop point.  
> Comment if you want more.  
> I have a potential (not too smutty) omegaverse spin off I might do, so there is a bit of setup for that in this. Ignore if you wish.  
> Please leave feedback for series so far in comments so I can get better!

 

 

 

Fenris sighed quickly, grabbing the crook of Solas’ arm quickly to stop his entrance further across the mess hall. Athim had not yet seen them, her eyes locked intently on the plate of food piled high in front of her.

“You do not need to do this. I understand now, she isn’t ready.” He shook his head, as Solas smiled at him.

“I do, Da’fen.” Solas smiled at him, but Fenris could see the nervousness swimming behind his eyes. He may be a liar, the great betrayer, but he couldn’t hide everything from Fenris. He brushed his fingers gently over Fenris’ knuckles where he gripped him.

“She needs to know, to move on from her mother, as I have. You do not deserve to be held only in the shadows, either.” He turned away from him, determination in the set of his jaw as he weaved through the crowd before them.

“Babae! Oh, and Fenris!” Athim’s eyes lit up as she saw him, but after a moment she cocked her head in confusion. Her smile faded as they approached.

“Is something wrong?” Fenris chuckled and shook his head. The girl was just as good at reading her father as he was.

Solas shook his head and sat down opposite her, hands reaching out across the desk to clasp hers.

“No! No, nothing is wrong, Da’len… How was your morning? How do you feel?” She scoffed fondly at him, squeezing Solas’ hands reassuringly, and rolled her eyes at Fenris. He didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it sooner… she had his eyes.  

“Fine, same as all the other mornings! You told me you had someone I was to meet? I have already met Fenris here,” She smiled at him, “so I assume they have not arrived you? Not that I am not pleased to meet you again, Fenris!”

Fenris smiled at her, unsure of how to proceed.

“I… thank you. I must apologise… for my behaviour, the last time we met.” Solas glanced at him and opened his mouth to speak but Fenris stopped him with a shake of his head.

“There was a… misunderstanding. Whatever the reason, my actions in your presence were not acceptable.” She laughed at him and waved one hand dismissively.

“Nonsense, I have met far ruder men than you. You are much more pleasant than them, I assure you. There is nothing to forgive, falon!” Solas smile reached his eyes truly then, the edges crinkly beautifully as he laughed.

“I am glad you find him agreeable, Da’len. The person I would like you to meet…” His eyes grew distant for a moment then, and his smile grew sad as he considered how to proceed.

“I loved your mother, Da’len. You know that, but… for me, that is but a distance memory. Your mother was my most trusted friend, even after we grew apart.” Athim let out a shaky sigh as she swallowed, eyes downcast.

“Your mother would have loved what you have become… and I will never forget what we had.” He paused, one hand rising to tilt her chin back up.

“I… have taken another mate, Athim.” Her eyes widened, her lips parting slightly in surprise.

“When?” She asked quietly, Solas smile slipped from his face slowly.

“It started long before we found you.” Solas cast his eyes down to stare at their clasped hands, and Fenris averted his eyes from the private moment. Solas’ eyes snapped up however as she began to shake, his eyes panicked for a moment. Fenris eyes snapped to her as well in concern.

“You’re an idiot, Babae! You thought I would be upset?” She lifted her head, her eyes wet as she laughed and her body shook with it. They both relaxed visibly.

“I assume it was you in his rooms then earlier, Fenris?” Fenris opened his mouth but could think of no swift lie, his cheeks and neck blooming with embarrassed heat as she laughed harder. Solas grimaced, his cheeks colouring as well. She sobered slightly after a moment, squeezing her father’s hand comfortingly.

“I know that mother is… gone. For you, it has been millennia since the fall.” She bit her lip, casting her eyes to Fenris with a smile.

“I want you to be happy, Babae. Does Fenris make you happy?” She flicked her eyes back to her father, eyes staring holes into him. He chuffed out a laugh, and smiled at her.

“Ma Vhenan’enaste.” She smiled brightly then, and Fenris scowled at the cryptic answer. She glanced at him and laughed, amused by his ignorance.

“Then of course, you have my blessing. It was never in question!”

Fenris frowned and fidgeted for a moment.

“You… do not have a problem with me… being a man?” She frowned, brow furrowing in confusion and her mouth dropped open as she looked to her father who shook his head solemnly.

“It is not common any longer, Da’len. They can be very… rigid, now. It can be frowned upon. When the magic was torn from us…” Her eyes widened and she nodded in understanding. She was such an intelligent creature, Fenris thought.

“It couldn’t be sustained… I see. No, Fenris, I have no problem with that. My mother was male, after all.” Fenris frowned deeply, head whipping to Solas in confusion but he shook his head and laughed.

“That is a long and complicated explanation, Da’fen. I will tell you… another time.” Fenris shook his head, but let it be for now. He could drag the explanation out of the stubborn elf later. For now, Fenris let out a breath and felt… lighter. Until he felt Solas lean closer to him.

“Now, there’s the matter of telling everyone else in this keep…” They both laughed at Fenris look of instant disgust and his growl of disapproval.

“First, however… breakfast.”


End file.
